Seriously…I had no idea. I am addicted to the white stuff…no not cocaine (so 1990’s)…sugar silly (The new Drug of Choice…DOC). And I think it’s been killing me softly for a looooooong time. I always thought it was kind of funny that I loved ice cream so much. Maybe in my head I could justify eating a whole point of Ben & Jerry’s is OK (and believe me…there have been more than enough times in my life when it was OK…)…you know how it goes: you are eating along and you hit a huge pocket of goodness..it’s a bit farther than the place you told yourself you were going to stop…but what the hell…it’s only one more bite…and before you know it you are rationalizing the whole pint gone…”I just need to level this spot off…and then I’ll stop.” And it’s no secret to the whole FREAKIN world that there are 4 servings in a pint. Who’s got next pint? So this has never happened to you huh? Yeah…me neither. Welllllll…it has happened a lot.
I always thought it was kinda wierd that my wife could stop after just one bite or stop going back to the cookie jar after just one cookie. Feminine willpower? How about chocolate chips? If there is a bag open in the house…it won’t be in the house long….trust me. Cookies? Gone. Ice Cream…you read the first paragraph…gone.
I am 40…and over the last holiday season this all came down for me. Like the last two weeks…and no this is not a resolution phase. I am a bit freaked out. I was reading along on Facebook when a man I respect posted an article about being sugar-free and living longer. One of his comments was about “listening to what your body needed for food” and I had no clue about what he meant. This was foreign to me. For someone who had trained in athletics, in bodywork, in physiology…this was foreign territory…and what was weird was I knew it. So I posted back and asked for a reference. He suggested “Potatoes Not Prozac” so I called the library…not in…but on order. I googled it and found a few resources till the book came in. One source that struck me hard was a free E-Book on sugar addiction. It’s free…what the hell? So I read it. It’s funny the words that the author was saying jolted me a bit…like everything she was saying happened to me…except the eating disorders…I just over ate and kept it all down.
After reading the book I was standing at the sink looking out our back window and started thinking about sugar…the part about my wife being able to stop eating ice cream or candy…friends stopping whenever they wanted..it all seemed like they had magical will power…and I was possessed by something else….my own rationalizations (it’s no big deal…it’s just chocolate)…my own procrastinations (I’ll be good tomorrow…). About a year ago I was at a conference talking with a friend at a food table. I had a piece of chocolate cake in my mouth and she asked if it “tasted good?” I said “No…it didn’t” and she took it from me and asked why I was eating it…I didn’t have an answer. That was a year ago. so now fast forward to my kitchen window…as I was standing there I took a huge bite of chocolate and the weirdest thing happened…it felt like every cell in my body vibrated at the smell of the chocolate…and then when it hit my lips and into my mouth my whole body sighed and then smiled. Like a whole body smile. I had never felt that before…never noticed that sensation. I was always shoving food in my mouth so fast that it never registered…never occurred, never made it to my brain. I have never been addicted to drugs but that’s what I imagine a hit feels like when you haven’t had it in a while…and it grossed me out (totally…for sure).
So where do we go from here? I dunno. Gonna keep reading the e-book (again) look at some more articles on the website and dive into Potatoes Not Prozac. Just from the short bit I have read so far it seems to encompass why I:
- Liked to drink so much in college
- Continued to overeat
- Have been battling a bit of depression for a long time (since high school)
- Why my joints hurt and feel swollen after eating some foods
- Move from food to food (if not bread then tortilla chips) to continue to feed that sugar craving.
- Why I recovered slower than my fellow athletes
- Why my body felt “inflammed” and tight with Plastic Wrap
- I am sure there are other sensations as well…..
What blows me away is what sugar is in…it’s in everything by the way…everything you may buy at a store…check the label it might be killing you too
There is a lot of …pauses…in this post, but tell me what you think anyway…Charlie (Charlie@4seasonfitness.com)
BTW: I am not trying to be “Holier than thou” with this…it’s just information that has tripped me out a bit, but might be a one of the pieces of the puzzle that helps round out my life with a bit more enjoyment. No judgement on my part…seriously…I will love you just the same.
BTW2: I have always had an interest in nutrition…just never considered myself a “nutritionist” so this will be a bit of exploration on my part in strategy. Oh yeah and how do I set my kids up for success knowing this about myself…
You will find so many insights in Potatoes not Prozac!
I found it really freeing to understand not only why I liked sugar so much more than others who could take it or leave it (and why I couldn’t have it in moderation) and what I could do about it (and no it is not about willpower or just not eating sugar LOL)
While you are waiting for a copy of PNP to become available for you to read, you might like to look at the articles and other resources on the radiantrecovery.com website and tap into the free support lists where others who are leaving sugar behind support one another in everything from eating breakfast to rebuilding our lives, living instead of existing from one sugar hit to the next.
Thanks for the encouragement Kath! I have yet to die into the radiant recovery website, but will do so tonight. it seems so blazing simple, but has really eluded me over the years…leading to depression, negative feelings, negative body image, over training, thinking about dropping out of grad school, anti depressant meds, yadda yadda yadda. Thanks so much! Where do you live in Oz? I have a couple great friends in Melbourne that I love dearly! Peace, Charlie
The joy of Radiant Recovery is that though the steps are simple (and it would seem simple to do it, yes?) LOL the support makes the doing so much more effective. We are not a mob of individuals all trying to do the same thing, but a group af people with a common purpose of healing and recovery.
The community makes all the difference!
I am in Perth, Western Australia. It is the most isolated capital city in the world, and sometimes I have felt very alone in trying to make food and behavioural changes against such a tide of manufactured foodstuffs. Looking for clean food becomes an adventure with others to cheer me on, all around the globe. Do come join us, and become really well!
Thanks Kath! I have joined the community board and it is interesting to read what has been posted. The steps seem simple, but I have been busted a few times doing exactly what Kathleen says you (I) will do after a bit…it’s pretty fun to get caught by a book! Perth is supposed to be gorgeous, and I would consider it civilized since they host a great Ironman event every year! if I get out that way I will look you up! Good luck making change, you are a great messenger for the cause! Charlie
Hi Charlie,
I was addicted to sugar, too, and it, too, was killing me softly. It took me years to admit, and identify, that sugar was my problem, and then even longer as I tried to white-knuckle my way out of it. It didn’t work. And believe me, I tried. I will be forever grateful when in my hazy life, I finally found the solution, which was wrapped up in that book Potatoes Not Prozac. Finally (!), someone was describing me in near-perfect detail and explaining all the confounding things I’d experienced. For a smart girl like me, none of it had ever made sense (why can’t I lick this thing?). I started Dr. DesMaison’s healing program two years ago and worked through the steps in about 14 months. I’ve been feeling and doing great since then, and my body has truly healed. I get grossed out when I am around sugar (especially chocolate, my favorite) now…the smell is totally repelling. Best of luck as you navigate your healing. Just know it is possible and that a much better life awaits you on the other side!
Thanks Katherine…I have somewhat “known” I have had this challenge for some time…I just never put it together. Like you I have always had a challenge with putting down the choco. I have lots of will power and even with the voices in my head 🙂 saying “dont eat that!” my bodily reaction has been on the contrary. It was as if someone else had control over me. Know with that bit of knowledge I can approach it differently…and I feel better about it. Like I have a plan of attach that has been done before. Moderation was always a challenge…and it hit me like a ton of bricks this christmas…thanks for your encouragement! Charlie
It appears we have the same problem Charlie. After reading your article and the responses, I think I will get my hands on a copy of Potatoes Not Prozac. I’m a bit scared to read it and see myself described in a book but I know that I need to get off the white stuff too.
If my chiropractor, Dr. Wine, ever gives another one of his health talks, I think you would thoroughly enjoy and be somewhat amazed by it. He is somewhat of a holistic healer and will be the first to tell you to cut out all white foods from your diet. The stuff I learned from one of his talks was really mind boggling. Anyway, thanks for the great article and we’ll have to compare notes on the book (when I get around to finding time/energy to read it!). Jodi
Crazy stuff huh? In the e-bok I have read so far..it has described my experience to a “t”…it’s pretty crazy. I feel pretty good about it and in some ways new already I just couldn’t put all my past experiences together with it! Would love to see your DC’s talk…I have met his wife, nice lady. I just asked our library for a copy but I may buy it instead…we’ll see! Thanks man! See you soon! Charlie
Charlie, it’s me Bonnie D (remember?) from Karen’s.
Kelli sent me this link. I made this addiction connection a year or so ago, after eating too much sugar and woke up feeling hung over. Still struggling with this as I have been my whole life, but for me, knowing that I have a problem is a start!
Hi there Bonnie! Great to hear from you! Still with The Firm? I have been struggling with this my whole life…but I never really put it all together till I got the book “Potatoes Not Prozac.” It has (so far) put all the things I knew but could not put into words into place. Most of my experiences have never been put together in any way that have helped. Even when I was training a lot, something was not right…and it was balancing one chemical in my body but not the rest. I have to say that it has changed a lot of my beliefs about my body in the shortest time possible. I got the book last Friday…and it has already made a huge impact. if you don’t have the book, I would recommend getting it. You can also check out http://www.radiantrecovery.com to see what type of offers are there as well as community. Thanks for the email! If you would like to chat, give a holler at my email charlie@4seasonfitness.com and shoot me your number…and hey…if you are dancing in Greenland…stop by! Hope to see you soon, Charlie